Comedian Russell Brand

How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

People don’t realize that the future is just now, but later.

Some people…say America is not ready for a black President. But I know America to be a forward-thinking country, otherwise why would you have let that retard and cowboy fella be President?

Amy Winehouse – her surname’s beginning to sound like a description of her liver.