Comedian Rhod Gilbert

A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.

In the Bible, God made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights. That's a pretty good summer for us in Wales. That's a hosepipe ban waiting to happen. I was eight before I realised you could take a kagoule off

I flew to Ireland once... I’m Welsh I brought shorts, t shirts, sunglasses, they don’t even sell them in Wales I had to go to Bristol to buy them!

I had to move in with my girlfriend... It was very successful and we lived very happily in domestic bliss and harmony... for 13 days.

When I was in prison I played football for the stalkers. When one of us would go for the ball, we’d all go. There was no one looking for space.