Comedian Noel Fielding

Are you possessed... by a twat?

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation… But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You fucking queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’

Yeah, big deal! *points to scar on his stomach* See that? Straighteners, Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get. Fell asleep on them when I was pissed.

Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.