Comedian Jack Whitehall

Top 5 quotes

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

People say you learn from your mistakes. That’s b*ll*cks – we stumble through life making the same mistakes. We just get better at dealing with the fallout.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but screw it, i’m with "Bupa".

I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.

‘No, mate, you came here because you screwed up your A-levels.’(Reply to a heckler at Warrington University, who told Whitehall he’d ‘come here for comedy.’)

Jack Whitehall quotes

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