Comedian George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there.

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.