Comedian Dov Davidoff

Top 5 quotes

Why would you beat up on a gay guy? I'm all for kickin' ass, but let's take out the enemy, you know, some good-looking straight dude with a nice car and job.

It's not really dating. I don't have any money, so we just kind of walk around. She'll always say things like, 'Where are we going?' 'Further.'

Why's God always got such wacky sh*t to say? When's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

You know you’re too high when you’re eating cereal naked and your girlfriend says, ‘Put your clothes on,’ and then you realize it’s not your girlfriend, it’s some woman on a bus.

I like to dress up as a referee and walk into a Foot Locker. You gotta try this. It freaks them out. They get all insecure. The guy’s like, ‘Wait a second, can I help you?’ I was like, ‘Can I help you, man? I, too, am a referee. Maybe we could work it out together.’ And then someone will ask me for a size 10, and I’ll be like, ‘Do I look like I work here, chief?’

Dov Davidoff quotes

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