Comedian Doug Stanhope

Top 5 quotes

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom." Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 yrs that hasn't just depressed me more.

At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.

I had a girl say this to me. She goes "you know, if god intended women to suck dick, he'd have made cum taste like chocolate" I said "Yeah, but he had to make it taste like bleach so you remember to do the laundry"

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

Doug Stanhope quotes

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