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My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
I love playing ego and insecurity combined.
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!"
I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences, ... I cross the board.
Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass...but you just pushed my jackass button.
Well u tell cancer I said I'ma shoot him twice me, by myself, all day, everyday, wakeup, go back to sleep, you wanna go night night nigga? everybody go night night everybody go night night
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
