Latest stand-up videos
Best short quotes
My wife is impossible. It is only safe to wake her from a distance, like Portugal.
I don't care if people think I am an overactor, as long as they enjoy what I do. People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter.
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.
I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.
So I'm at the office, I tell this guy...Pass me the stapler, but when you pass it, make sure staples are in it, because if it isn't, I can't staple anythin'.
I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
"Hey, baby! Stop selling weed, all right, you've got your whole life ahead of you." He goes, "Fuck you, nigga. I got kids to feed!"
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.